Don't be misled by people who say never use but in your writing. It's too sweeping and you might be missing out on a very handy device.

They say it's negative and anything before the but is just filler. They do have a point if the boss sits an employee down and says, 'I really like the way you turn up to work on time and tidy your desk at the end of the day, but your thinking and writing skills are far below what we need in this organisation.' The filler before the but just softens him up for the king hit.

But, here's why it's such a useful word...

Many inexperienced negotiators believe that the right way to play in the zone of possible agreement (ZOPA) is to take a position that is diametrically opposed to their negotiating partners and hope that they will settle on a compromise somewhere in the middle.
Unfortunately that approach also raises the risk that they will not settle at all. Positions harden and become more intractable. The atmosphere of the negotiation changes from working together to working against each other and the potential for agreement begins to diminish.
A better approach is to negotiate around the edges.  Think about the whole value of your proposed agreement not just the price.  What else do you know about your partner's needs and concerns that can help you boost the overall value of your proposed solution and still help you settle closer to  your end of the ZOPA scale?
The more you know about your partner’s problems, needs and concerns the more effective you will be at playing in the ZOPA.
 

A friend is going through a terrible time. Serious career, financial and family health issues have come together all at once.

She sent me an email recently that showed that she knew exactly what to do, but on that day none of it seemed relevant and she was feeling very low. Today, she feels she has her resilience back - and new insights. This is how she put it: